Sunday, November 14, 2010

Movie # 002 Open House (1987)

A super rare rarity accrued for movie #002! To be nice, I invited my husband to join me in the horror b-movie glory for the night and he actually said YES! :o While my husband and I watch many, MANY movies together, we have different tastes for certain genres. One of those big differences is how we both feel for indie horror and b-movie "sholock" as he calls it. I love watching that stuff because 1. I'm pretty tired of Hollywood fucking with horror with bad scripts, remakes, just flat out unoriginal shit. I find taking a chance on indie and/or lower budget b-movies (hey, they aren't always the same thing) more refreshing. Even if it's bad, it's not going to be nearly as bad as Rob Zombies Halloween or some other bullshit horror movie like Drag me to Hell. Agh. Sure, not everything will be a hidden gem, but at least I feel like the creators put more effort in to being original and creative. My husband, on the other hand, feels shit is shit and it doesn't matter if it's Hollywood shit or indie shit. It's all the same when you hate it and finding a good one is rare in both markets. So this difference normally means I'm watching the b-movies by myself. Which is fine. I'd rather that then having to listen to someone bitching about every little flaw just because they hate low budget stuff.


So when my husband said yes, I figured we wouldn't be watching the same movie that I had randomly picked out the night before. I asked to be sure, and my question was met with serious eye rolling action. :o I figured the rest of my "to watch" horror DVDs were out as well... So I asked him what would he like to watch? We went to Pay-Pre-View and dug around looking for something within the restrictions of the 100 movie challenge.... which basically is just that 1. it has to be horror yet at the same time 2. it has to be something we've never seen before. When your Horror DVD collection alone is close to a thousand movies, it's a little harder to find something we haven't seen then you'd think. And we did end up searching PPV forEVER!! Ok, it wasn't forever, but it felt like it took a long time. Really, it was probably close to 30 mins.


PPV ended up showing us very little that we were actually agreeing on. Ok, nothing we agreed on. :o So we turned to the almighty Netflix and streaming. After searching Netflix for what seemed to be another 30 mins, my husband found a movie, but wouldn't tell me what it is! He kept it a secert from me while we got set up for the movie (drinks and /or snacks, go potty if you need to, basically anything you need to do before the movie starts).


While I'm getting ready, I'm silently wishing for a creature movie. <3 I know the chances of this are slim. Like, 1 out of a trillion slim. While I love a good creature movie, my husband is not ultra fond of them. Especially ever since I made everyone watch Munchies. D: Let's just say Munchies did not go over well with the rest of the viewers on movie night. Hey! I'm not the one who made the movie, I can't help that it's bad or poorly done. :o I just wanted to watch the movie again, for the first time in probably about 15 years.


I'm really hoping that the movie is not just another regular slasher movie. My husband LOVES slasher movies. I like them, don't get me wrong... It's just that out of all the different branches of horror movies, the slasher movies are lower on my "Like" list. :o That does NOT mean I hate them! It's just after watching one or two slasher movies, and I'm good for a few weeks. My husband could probably watch nothing BUT slasher movies and be perfectly content. My main problem with the regular slasher movie, is that... a lot of those movies are the same. Similar shots, similar kills, similar motives, similar victims, etc. There are several ok slasher films. I think High Tension is the only one I've ever heavily praised. And if you look at that movie, you will see that it is a slasher movie that is very different then a normal slasher movie. I could talk about this longer, but I digress.


A few mins in to the movie, and I finally find out that we are watching a movie called Open House, made in 1987. Never heard of it, and it doesn't look familiar. Cool! At this point I have no idea what the plot is, but I have already spotted amusing continuity issues on the settings and props. When a movie has continuity problems with props or settings, I normally find it more amusing then annoying. However, when it's a continuity problem in the script, such as a character says one thing early in the movie and then says something that contradicts it later on, I go bat-shit crazy over. Makes me so mad because that's just piss poor writing!


While I personally felt the body count was kinda low, the kills and gore effects are pretty impressive. Now I'm not saying they are award winning, but for the time and mostly likely smaller budget, they look pretty good. There is even a fun scene with a fake head and the head actually looks pretty decent. Not awesome, but I can tell what actor it's supposed to look like and it looks realistic on some level... which is better then a lot of low-budget fake heads I've seen over the years. I've seen movies where the fake head is basically styrofoam head shape with make up put on it and a cheap blond wig stapled to it. The effects crew also manage to have death scenes without actually showing the deaths. Don't know if that was a budget thing or a in the script thing...? Sometimes it felt like while the directer was avoiding showing the actual death, but instead shows a kind of pretentious artsy shot of the feet or hands. I think he was trying wayyyy too hard to pull off a certain kind of atmosphere or style, but failed. Or maybe that's just me?


Now well in to the movie, I get the plot spelled out for me. Are you ready for this one? Ok... the killer, is killing off real estate employees when they are showing houses on the market. The reason he is killing off these "uppity real estate bitches" is because he is angry that houses cost so much and those these real estate people don't just let him have a house and instead tried to - gasp- charge him for it! The plot is just silly. I can't wait to see how this could possibly end.


Through most of the movie, all we see of the killer are his feet. A hobo wearing cowboy boots. Which is hilarious because the sound guy, apparently, feels that the sound of cowboy boots walking on carpet sound like Frankensteins Monster with HEAVY thudded foot falls. Granted, I don't wear cowboy boots, but I'm pretty sure they don't sound like that when someone is walking... especially on a soft surface. It is fuckdiculous the entire time the killer is on screen!! You can't help but laugh. It's supposed to be some serious scene where he's plotting the down fall of some hot real estate chick, but all I can do is start laughing.


I found out why my husband had picked this movie so randomly out of so many Netflix choices. The leading actress is the lovely Adrienne Barbeau... whom we both adore. She's just fantastic to meet and I like so many of her horror movies. My husband likes her acting and her boobies... which are attractively on display often. She even had a sex scene where you so a decent amount of nipple, so I think the movie gets bonus points from him.


Over all, Open house is an OK movie. Not great, but not unwatchable. My main problems with it are all these ridiculous things - plot, silly sound effects, over acting, silly shots. The worst part was the ending death scene of the killer....


.... SPOILER ALERT....


When the good guys finally catch up to the killer, the detective on the case pulls out a gun, and shoots the killer right between the eyes! BAM! Nice headshot! What could possibly be my problem with that you say? Well, this... the head shot... did NOT kill the killer. The movie was NOT a supernatural movie. The killer was just a plain crazy guy. You can see that the bullet has gone all the way out the other side of the head. There are bits of brain and lots of blood on the ground... yet the killer isn't dead?? No, no, he keeps fighting! So how does he die? He gets pushed off a one story house deck and falls to his death. Yes. A gun shot to the head does not slow him down, but the fall off of a short deck does. What the fuck? Yeah, I know...






3 out of 5 stars

 

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