Movie # 003 Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

I HATE remakes, re-imaginings,  reboots, and whatever else you want to call them. The horror movie genre is currently being raped by horrid remakes.  It's fuckdiculous. There have only been a small handful of re-makes that I can actually enjoy on some level without throwing up.  For the most part, the movies are poorly written excuses to cash in on the title recognition. I hate it.  After attempting to have an open mind for a few years, and give remakes a try...  I'm tired of being burned by such bullshit movies.  They only end up leaving me so frustrated, my head feels like it's on fire and I want to just explode.  


It makes me so angry because it's such a cheap thing to do a remake.  It lacks creativity in something new and fresh to try. It's lazy efforts.  Re-boots make me upset because you could just add to a series like Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th, you don't have to just re-boot the series. Why? WHY?? There is no reason to restart.  Just because you update it with young and trendy fucks, it doesn't mean it's going to be a movie worth seeing.  I don't understand why the movie people can't get that through their head.  Just add to the story, make it your own.  Don't fucking re-hash, you lazy fucks!


So for the night I sat down for movie # 003, my husband joining me for the second night in a row, he thought it would be funny to watch the re-make of Nightmare on Elm Street- which I have been throughly against since it was first announced about being green lit. 


I protested loudly! I could live the rest of my life with never, EVER having to see this movie.  I'm a huge fan of the original movies and didn't want to be angered by watching the re-boot.   He ended up wining though, he, after all... had the remote.


After watching the first 20 mins, I find myself laughing so hard at half of the actors.  They are supposed to be high school kids, but most of them look like they are in their mid 30s.  They have heavy caked on make up to try and cover up wrinkles galore.  It's just ridiculous.  One of the actresses was standing next to her characters mother.  The mother looked younger! How sad is that?? Geez.  At least Nancy looks the right age.  Person in charge of casting should still be taken out back and beaten for such shitty picks.


My next biggest beef with the movie is all the horrible CGI effects.  There are effects that they could do easily with real special effect methods but instead, they chose to use bad CGI.  It looked like total shit!!  The worst scene was when Nancy is sleeping and Freddy pushes in the wall and his face is pressed through the wall. The new version was soooooo cheesy!!  It looked like total fake crap. I've seen better CGI on movies from the early 90s!  There is no excuse for a big budget movie in 2010 to have such shotty effects.   Badly done CGI effects take me straight out of a movie.  It completely ruins everything.   CGI should never be used as a method to accomplish something that you could do by hand.   There is no reason for you to CGI blood squirting out of a wound.  That shit looks FAKEY VON FAKE 'N FAKE!!!!!! Don't do it!  Blood is a simple effect to create and a there are several simple methods to use in order to squirt it out of a wound.  Why, WHY must we suffer through  horribly fake blood?  It can't possibly be that much cheaper.  Horrible  CGI is so sad.  If you can't make it look seamless and real, don't do it.  


I really disliked the way Freddy looked.  I don't know if the blame goes to special effects peeps or if there was a separate designer who came up with neo-Freddy's face. Yeah, yeah, yeah... I get it.  They wanted more of a burn victim look to the face.  I got that.  But it didn't look scary at all because you couldn't read the anger or craziness on his face.  Freddy's face just looked blank, and that wasn't intimidating at all.  


Now the plot isn't a total throw away, but there are some things that didn't make a lot of sense either.   For example... in this movie, Freddy is a gardener at a pre-school.  He lives in the basement, which looks just like a typical basement.  So, why are the kids now dreaming of a boiler room all the time?  It doesn't make any sense.  Neo- Freddy has no connections to a boiler room on any level, so WTF?  Old Freddy worked in a boiler room and that's where he built the claws, so it made  sense that he kept bringing kids in to a boiler room.... but a gardener?? If neo Freddy has an connection to a boiler room, it's never mentioned in the movie. 


The acting was so so.  Not great, not bad.  Typical over acting you see in so many horror movies.  Nobody is winning any awards here.  Sadly it's not even the worst part of the movie. 


Over all... this remake didn't make me want to gouge my eyes out as bad as some of the others i n recent years(Halloween, I'm looking at you!).  I'm glad we weren't seen buying the DVD.  I'm even happier it's not in our collection...  It's bad enough to know that it's on our PPV information.  I'm not going to go on a crusade ripping this movie apart through several message boards, but I'm not going to encourage people to go check it out either.  It's mostly just forgettable. 

2 1/2 Stars out of 5