A tale from the dark side...

I love VHS.  "But Ami, it's obsolete and clunky, yo!" you say? Yes, yes, I know! But, you know what is great about old VHS tapes? You can find some super fun obscure movies on tape that are not (and probably never will be) on any other format. I've found a lot of smaller b-movie gems that have been long forgotten about. 

Obviously, I can't just walk in to your average store and browse a VHS selection and find a plethora of b-movie awesomeness... For happy hunting you normally have to slum it and go  dig around thrift stores, pawn shops and flea markets.  Which, I have no problem with that at all. I love the worn out and broken side of life anyways, so I have fun prowling around these places.


Lately my fave location is the local flea market.  There was this one booth who had a TON of VHS tapes, and not just 50 copies of Armageddon or some other hot title that sold a shit ton... no, this guy had shit you'd never fucking heard about before... and for all genres too! This guy had such gems as Hellcab, and Mountaintop Motel Massacre! It was such an awesome booth! And, they were fucking cheap as hell too!  I would spend so much time there drooling over titles and filling my arms up with way too many tapes to even carry.


I had not been to the flea market in a while and, with getting back to my horror movie watching and blogging, I wanted to go and pick up some new VHS movie selections today.  I was really looking forward to seeing what kind of goodies were in store today! I get SO excited about finding some obscure B-movie mixed in with the mainstream movies. So "looking forward to..." might have been a little bit of an understatement!

When we first got to the flea market, we went to the opposite side of the building just to lightly browse isles before hitting the booth where I'd probably spend all my cash at.  Aside from looking for horror VHS tapes, I also like to look for My Little Pony items (Yes. That's right. Horror AND My Little Ponies.), so I had no problem looking around at the other areas of the flea market.  My husband and I are kinda retro-ish in many ways.  We both still have record players and we have a decent selection of records to play.  We also have things like original Atari, and still play the NES (the first Nintendo for those of you who aren't that nerdy) When we go to the flea market, my husband likes to ditch me and hit all the booths that have records or older games.  He saw some nice looking nerdy booths he wanted to check out, while I was itching to get to the big VHS booth.  So he stays there and I start walking to the other side of the building now.  Before going to the VHS booth, I stopped and looked at this one rather cluttered area that I've always had a little bit of luck at finding interesting items. While I'm looking high and low, my husband walks up to me with this expression on his face -> D: After asking what's up, he informs me that he just walked past the area the VHS guy had his big booth... and it's gone! D: indeed! FUCK! NO! Impossible!  I was really upset.  I was even more PISSED OFF! That was the whole goddamn point of coming out to the fucking flea market today!! >:( Grrrr. 


So, yeah. I was fucking mad.  My husband had another booth in the very back that he wanted to check out. His friend said it was a new record booth back there.  I'm like, I'm going to the front and waiting there. >:(  We go our seperate ways, and I wait up front for what felt like FUCKING FOREVER! It probably just felt that way because I was really hot (the building has ZERO air flow!), my back was hurting again, no ponies, no VHS tapes. OR maybe my husband just TOOK THAT FUCKING LONG back there...? I don't know. Anyways, he eventually shows up and I want to just get the fuck out of there, go home and sulk, but he informs me that I should go to the back area because there is a booth with a bunch of VHS tapes.  So I went back there (and yeah! I MAY have stomped back there. Big fuck. ).


Two old guys had about 4 tables set up with stacks and stacks of VHS tapes all across the table tops.  He has a sign saying $1 per tape, $ 4 for 6 tapes.... or something like that. Anyways... the first table I hit, I didn't find much of interest. Mostly mainstream lame movies that were mostly in the veins of comedy, drama or action. Boo. Hiss.  Stuff like Home Alone, Dances with wolves, and Armageddon. Yes. There really are thousands of copies of Armageddon! Apparently I am the ONLY person on the planet who did not own that movie on tape.

All in all, I ended up buying 9 VHS tapes! It wasn't the greatest pull ever, but it was good enough to make me slightly less pissed off.  Half the tapes I bought were just some of my more fave. movies and I wanted to get them on VHS tape so I could have them on hand in my office... the other half of movies were movies that looked like they could be fun B-movie watching time.  Sadly, there wasn't that much straight up horror, but there was some sci-fi horror.  That'll do.

Here is the list of movies I bought that are movies I've already seen and are some of my more fave movies out there:

1. Dark City. (1998)  When John Murdoch awakens in a strange hotel room, he finds that he is wanted for a series of brutal murders.  The problem is that he can't remember a thing.  Pursued by the police and haunted by The Strangers, mysterious beings who possess the ability to stop time and alter reality, he seeks to unravel the twisted riddle of his identity.  But in a city where reality is the ultimate illusion, discovering the truth could be fatal.
2. Lord of Illusions. (1995)  Harry D'Amour, a private detective visiting Los Angles on a routine investigation gets more then he bargained for when he encounters Philip Swann, a performer who's amazing illusions captivate the world.  But are they really illusions?  Harry isn't so sure as he is thrust into a nightmare of murder, deception and terrifying assaults from the dark arts.
3. The Fifth Element. (1997)  New York cab driver Korben Dallas didn't mean to be a hero. But he just picked up the kind of fare that only comes along every five thousand years.  A perfect beauty, a perfect being, a perfect weapon.  Now, together, they must save the world. (WOW.  The back of the cover SERIOUSLY does not give this movie nearly enough details to what the movie is about. Aliens. Bruce Willis.  Explosions. Gary Oldman. Sci-fi. Lots of ass kicking. Mila Jovovich. Did I mention aliens? There, that about sums it up.)
4.  Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. (2001)  The year is 2065 AD.  The Earth is infested with aliens and mankind faces total extinction.  Led by a strange dream and guided by her mentor Dr. Sid, scientist Aki Ross struggles to collect the eight spirits in the hope of creating a force powerful enough to destroy the alien presence and pure enough to protect the planet.  With the aid of the Deep Eyes Squadron, Aki must save the Earth from it's darkest hate and unleash the spirits within.  (And FUCK all you assholes who didn't support this movie back in 2001! It was fucking mind blowing and nobody went to see it!! >:(  )

Here is a list of the b-movie gems I found:

1. Supernova. (1999) Light years from home, in the farthest reaches of deep space, the medical vessel Nightingale Keeps a lonely vigil for those in trouble.  When a frantic cry for help pierces the void, the crew responds with a near fatal, hpyerspace dimension jump into the unknown.  Entering into a gravitational pull of a dying star, the disabled ship rescues a shuttle craft containing a mysterious survivor and a strange alien artifact.  Now the crew must unravel a chilling secret and escape the nearby imploding star before the forming supernova blasts them and the entire galaxy into oblivion!
2. They Crawl. ( ?)  A computer whiz named Bean is among several people found dead with strange striations, odd puncture wounds, and missing internal organs.  Bean's brother Ted teams up with detective Gina to get to the bottom of it.  With the help of a computer hacker, the find a blueprint that reveals the killer who has been terrorizing the city.. a rampaging posse of genetically mutated cockroaches!
3. Cyber City (1999).   It's the year 2017, the Earth's surface is destroyed and it's citizens flee to an underground wasteland ruled by warring religious cults.  In this sinful cybercity, mercenary Dakota's family is murdered by a perverse virtual prophet (RODDY PIPER FUCK YEAH!!!!!) bent on world domination.  Seeking justice, Dakota, beautiful assassin Lilith and an arsenal of hi-tech weaponry battle for the Earth's most precious resource- Humanity! It's time for the false prophets to meet their makers!
4. Sphere (1998).  Far below the surface in the mid-Pacific, U.S. officials have isolated what may be the greatest discovery in human history.  They've found a huge spacecraft that plunged into the depths- 300 years ago.  After three centuries, could there still be living intelligence aboard?
5. Lifeforce. (1985)  As space vampires invade Earth, the human race is catapulted into a desperate battle for survival.  (Really, after space vampires are mentioned, do I even have to type the rest of the back cover?? I think NOT!)
6. Armageddon( 1998)  When an asteroid the size of Texas is.... JUST KIDDING! I don't even want to watch that movie, and i embrace cheesy.

I'm not sure where these movies will fit in to long list of already Must Watch movies... but, for now, I'm happy to add them to my collection.